TV's there to make you feel bad!

Okay, I am sitting here with butterflies in my stomach and upset. Stupid 'What Would You Do?'. I just want to jump through the TV and strangle some people for not stepping up and doing something, but then the stupid show makes me think if I would actually say something. URGH I won't know until it happens to me, but then it makes me worry that I won't do something when the inside of me is screaming.

And now I am watching the Barbra Walters special about the kids who are 7 years old and their bodies are 70...sometimes I think I just need to unplug.

Anyway, there should be more of me posting online now that I finally have internet at my home, if Mom will let me on it sometimes. She is more addicted to the internet than I am, I just hope that she remembers how to use it. Last time she got infront of a computer she had no idea what she was doing and it made me so sad because she was really adept at it before. Her memory seems like it is going faster now that it has been in the last year. It's to be expected with her disease, but it still hurts everytime she makes a strange comment. An example of that was the other day when we were bickering. She said that I got the money out of her jeans in the bathroom, I told her I got them out of the jeans in the kitchen (where our laundry was sorted at the time) not the bathroom, and she gave me a strange look and said that she didn't say bathroom she said laundry room. Conversations like this have happened two or three times (including the one above) in the last couple of weeks.

My friends keep asking me how much longer I am going to be able to take Mom. I wish that they understood that it isn't a matter of 'taking' her. It is not only my duty as a daughter, I know my mother better than anyone (including her own mother...don't get me started on my grandmother) and I know how she reacts to people. My mother has never been a stranger person, she's nice to people but she can't be alone or around strangers for long periods of time. Sorry for this post to get so serious, when I get upset I bounce from topic to topic.